Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Black Bean Burgers (You'd be crazy not to make 'em!)

Over the past thirty-six hours, I have had the pleasure of realizing how horrible it is to cook dried beans. First, I tried the eight-hour soaking method. After ten hours had lapsed, I tried the beans, which were only about forty percent softened. So I decided to boil them for a few minutes then let them sit in a covered pan overnight. That didn't work, either. So this morning, I boiled the little buggars again, then proceeded to let them sit in their own water for ten more hours. This finally did the trick, but seriously... All that work to save a lousy three dollars!

So anyway, I didn't know what to do with the beans once they were softened (I was actually just excited to cook them because I had never strayed from the canned variety), and then it hit me... black bean burgers! I scurried home with a general idea of how to make them, but once I made my way into the kitchen, my creative juices started flowing... and after they were done, so did my drool.

Ingredients:
1/4 lb dried black beans (or 1 can, drained and rinsed)
1 egg
1 very small onion, chopped
1 generous tsp basil
3 cloves garlic, crushed
salt and pepper to taste
1 cup bread crumbs (I used Italian blend. Also- If you're using canned beans, you may have to adjust this measurement because they may contain more moisture than the soaked ones)
3-4 tbsp ranch dressing (See note above regarding measurement adjustments.)
handful shredded Parmesan cheese

Sauce (Optional)
1/2 avocado
4ish tbsp ranch dressing
salt to taste

Method:
1. Cook your beans. Or, unless you're as cheap as me and three bucks really means that much to your poor soul (no pun intended),  support your favorite legume farmer and buy canned ones.

2. In a large bowl, mash beans with a fork. You don't have to mash them until they resemble baby food, but do mash them enough so that about 50% of them have exposed their white innards. Don't try to get all slick on me and use your food processor. You will end up with a mess and wonder why your burgers came out horribly.

3. Add all other ingredients and mix until everything is fully worked in. Mold into four patties.

4. In a skillet, fry your burgers in a tablespoon or two of oil. This should take about 5 minutes on each side.

5. To make sauce, mash avocado and mix it with dressing and salt.

6. Complete your burger by adding cheese, the avocado-ranch sauce, sliced avocado, tomato, lettuce, or whatever else you fancy. Pin It

Monday, July 30, 2012

Best Ever Chocolate Chip Cookies

I have experienced my fair share of chocolate chip cookie disasters, but after years of searching, I finally found (and perfected) one that never, ever fails. For all you die hard Tollhouse fans... forget about it. That "classic recipe" produces cookies that don't always rise,  sometimes spread too far, and get oddly crispy for no apparent reason. My spectacularly delicioso recipe always cranks out flavorful delights that puff up in the oven, and after they've been out of the blasted heat box for about 45 seconds, fall just enough to form sugary-chocolate valleys of goodness. Yum... they're chewy, moist, and have amazing texture.They spread just enough to look normal, but never get flat. You all know what I'm talking about... we've all opened the oven after 8 minutes, expecting to see golden pillows with gorgeous glowing chunks of chocolate, but instead see this ridiculous mess of nearly transparent, paper thin cookie dough with chocolate chips standing fully erect. That's when the tears start flowing and the swear jar begins to overflow with 20's.

NO MORE. The recipe I am about to present will never leave you swearing off baking ever again. In fact, you might even gain a few pounds because you'll be making these SO often. For real. Let's get started.

Ingredients:
2 1/4 cup white flour (I know... no whole wheat!)
3/4 cup packed light brown sugar
1/4 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp baking soda
1 package instant vanilla pudding (Do not buy sugar free unless you like things that taste disgusting)
1 tbsp vanilla extract (this is not a typo. TBSP)
1 bag chocolate chips (I always use Ghiradelli. Go big or go home, right?)
2 sticks unsalted butter, softened, NOT melted (I usually use cold butter and mash it with a fork, but you don't have to do that... just don't use melted butter)

Method:
1. Strap on your jazziest apron.

2. Preheat oven to 375'.

3. Combine butter, eggs, vanilla, white sugar, and brown sugar. Mix until all ingredients are fully incorporated.

4. Add pudding mix to sugar-y egg mixture. Now add baking soda. Mix like Hell.

5. Slowly add flour. Once all flour has been mixed in, add chocolate chips.

6. Drop by spoon fulls onto UNGREASED cookie sheets. You should get about four dozen.

7. Bake for 8-10 minutes.

8. Brag to all your friends about how you make a bangin' chocolate chip cookie that puts their beloved Nestle recipe to shame. Pin It

Friday, July 27, 2012

Scones-- Sorry, no fun name this time!

Who doesn't love a good scone? What would I do for a tasty biscuit to enjoy with my morning tea or winter hot chocolate? I'd read a Goosebumps book and maybe prank call Cox Communications. This may not seem like much to you, but for someone like me, these are pretty big steps that may potentially lead to a week of nightmares or a criminal record that would bar me from any legit form of employment for the rest of my life.

I have tried my hand at many scone recipes, but they all have left little to be desired. I finally found one that is a a definite, no questions asked home run. The best thing about it is that it serves as a base and is just begging for a splashing of creative mix-ins. I'll admit, my cinnamon raisin ones weren't all that jazzy, nor were my lemon meringue wannabes, but creative or not, I still had a trickle of drool leading from the left corner of my mouth down to my chin.

I'll offer you this one very serious warning: Scones do take a bit of time due to the fact that they have to be cut out with either a glass or a cookie cutter. I prefer to make them heart-shaped, but that's just me. If you want to form them into a skull and crossbones, that's your deal, not mine. I won't even care if you make peepee shapes... just don't give me the credit (although, in all fairness, my blog did give you the idea, right?)

Ingredients:
1 cup sour cream
1 tsp baking soda
4 cups flour (If you want to try your hand at making these healthier, you can sub 2 cups of wheat... but if you do any more than 1/2 wheat, 1/2 white, you're walking a fine line, my friend)
1 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder (If you're using wheat flour, it's in your best interest to increase this to 2.5 tsp)
1 tsp salt
2 sticks unsalted butter (if you don't have unsalted butter, don't bother making this recipe... you'll ruin it!)
1 egg
1/4 tsp cream of tartar
Egg wash (beaten egg+ water)
Possible additions: 1 cup raisins, 1 cup candied orange peel, 1/2 tsp cinnamon (to taste), 1 tsp orange extract, 1 cup dried cranberries, lemon zest... get your thinking cap on- the sky's the limit!

Method:
1. Preheat oven to 350'. Lightly grease a baking sheet.

2. Combine sour cream and baking soda. Let set for a few minutes before the egg. Add any wet additions (juice, extracts) at this point.

3. In another bowl, combine remaining dry ingredients. Slowly add flour mixture to the sour cream mixture. As you're adding the flour, you can also add in the raisins, etc.

4. Knead the dough for a few minutes. Roll into a 3/4" slab. Use a cookie cutter to make these little buggars beautiful. Otherwise, use a glass. Or, if you want to take the SUPER easy way out, you can just cut wedges with a knife. Yawn... borrrrring!

5. Lightly brush the tops with egg wash and sprinkle with sugar, if desired.

6. Bake for 15 minutes. This is accurate if get about 12 biscuits. If you've cut them much smaller, check them at about 7 or 8 minutes.

If you'd like to make them and freeze them before baking, you can certainly do that. Just make sure that you freeze them on a cookie sheet. Once they're fully frozen, you can transfer them to a ziploc bag. Bake as normal, but for about 45 minutes, or as is necessary for the size. Size does matter. Pin It

Thursday, July 26, 2012

The Easiest Thanksgiving Turkey Burgers Ever!

If there's one thing I can say with confidence, its that I really love to eat. But it's not just that I love to eat, It's that like to eat comfort food. Unfortunately however, many comfort foods tend to make an appearance on many dieters' do-not-eat lists due to their high fat, sodium, and carbohydrate content. What's a girl who no longer fits into her favorite clothes to do? The answer is NOT to give up satisfying foods and replace them with boiled chicken and unsalted steamed vegetables. The ticket is to find foods that rub your appetite in all the right places (that's what she said), but are actually pretty good for you.

This is where the turkey burger comes in. Now what's better than an amazing turkey burger? Thanksgiving. Oh yes. You can have a miniature Thanksgiving feast without even dirtying a pan. And if you don't have a woman to clean dishes for you, why make a mess. JUST KIDDING. FYI, I'm a girl, so please don't leave hateful feminist comments. I will not approve them anyway.

Anyway, jump aboard the Turkey Express and ride it all the way to Yumville Valley!

Ingredients:
1 pound 93% lean ground turkey (Don't forget, just because it's turkey, it doesn't mean it's less fattening than ground beef. 85% fat is 85% fat regardless of what animal it comes from!)
1/2 box stuffing mix
cranberry sauce (For the love of God... NOT the jellied crap. Go for the gold [my nod to the Olympics] and get the whole berry kind!)
Buns or whatever

Method:
1. Mix dry stuffing in with ground turkey. Mold into patties. You should get about five. If you get four, though, I'm not judging... your secret is safe with me!

2. Grill or pan-fry until your patties are cooked through. Seriously... make sure this is cooked because I don't want to see you all dropping like flies from Salmonella Poisoning.

3. Assemble. Use cranberry sauce instead of ketchup. You won't be disappointed!!

4. Enjoy this with the pumpkin pie recipe below. The whole meal will make your eyes roll to the back of your head as if you've just had the most pleasurable experience of you life. Pin It

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Frozen No-Bake Pumpkin Pie

What the flip was I thinking when I decided to make this? It's so unbelievably good and will probably be the demise of my "diet". By the way, I use the word "diet" very loosely because I always say that I'm trying to lose weight, yet I'm the one whipping up pies and shaking a pot like a mad woman in an effort to make the perfect pot of popcorn. I rest my case.

Anyway, pumpkin is one of my favorite flavors of all time. I am a crazy person who eats pumpkin out of the can... all year long, and finds an excuse to incorporate the orange stuff into any recipe. This includes cookies, oatmeal, scones, pancakes, and of course, pie.

Being that it's summer, however, who's really in the mood to turn on their oven and heat up their house even more than the blasted sun has already done? I would say not me, but that's entirely false. Most people, however, aren't keen on turning their oven up to 350' and letting it run for an hour.

That's where this pie comes in. It's super delicious and if you buy a graham cracker crust, will free you from having to bake. I was hoping that this blog would feature only healthy recipes, but what can I say? I'm human, and can't resist the occasional urge to fill my tummy with sugar in the form of marshmallow fluff. Are you going to judge me? Of course not, because that would mean that you're not going to make this, and if you DID judge me, and you DID make this, you'd be a hypocrite, right? Right.

So let today be a judgement-free day and we'll all celebrate by eating pumpkin mousse pie.

Ingredients:
1 Graham cracker crust (or if you want to be super fancy, you could make your own, but come onnn... why would you want to show me up?!)
1 15-ounce can pumpkin
7 ounces fluff (you can usually find 7 oz jars)
1/4 cup light brown sugar
2 tsp pumpkin pie spice (another one of my favorite "all in one" spices)
1 container cool whip (divided, if desired)

Method:
1. Combine pumpkin, fluff, brown sugar, and pumpkin pie spice. Stir until everything is evenly incorporated.

2. Fold whipped topping into pumpkin mixture. **If you want your pie to look fancy schmancy, reserve about 1/4 cup of the cool whip to garnish with at the end.

3. Spread pumpkin/cool whip mixture into the pie crust. Garnish if desired. Pop this little sucker in the freezer for at least four hours.

4. Take out of freezer about 30 minutes before serving. Pin It

Monday, July 23, 2012

Creamy Delicious Yummy Spinach Dip

I am a sucker for a few things, and one of them is cheese. I'm also a fan of warm, creamy, comfort food (which coincidentally, often involve cheese), which is why spinach dip has become a fan favorite. Honestly, who can resist chopped spinach mixed in with loads of warm, melted cheese? Maybe all you wicked skinny people out there can, but for the rest of us, no way.

This recipe is not healthy, but you can certainly cut down on the calories by swapping out full-fat ingredients from reduced-cal ones. I often use Nunchablahblah cheese rather than regular cream cheese because it contains one-third less fat. I also have recently discovered "light" Alfredo sauce, which has replaced the traditional version. Yes, yes... I know. Jarred Alfredo sauce is somewhat of a taboo for Italians and also for people who are anti-anything-with-chemicals. Admittedly, I am one of those people who prefers to eat natural and organic foods, but sometimes it's necessary to splurge a bit, and by splurge, I mean eat processed foods that are packed with preservatives and ahh... xanathan gum.

For all of you natural foodies out there, I challenge you to take the xanathan gum test. If you don't die, I'll give you all the money that I've earned from writing this blog. Maybe not. How about a modest cut of what I've made? After all, I've spent three weeks of my life on this thing and have just passed the $3.50 mark.

Ingredients:
1 jar Alfredo sauce
1 brick cream cheese
1 box of chopped spinach, thawed and drained (make sure it's CHOPPED. Otherwise, you'll have this stringy mess that will probably get stuck on your hangy ball [uvula for all you science people out there])
1 cup shredded Parmesan cheese
Tortilla chips for scooooping (Or for those calorie cutters out there... cut veggies)

Method:
1. In a large microwave-safe bowl, combine Alfredo sauce and cream cheese. Microwave for about two minutes. Mix after two minutes.

2. Add drained spinach and Parmesan cheese to bowl. Mix in and microwave for another two minutes and stir. Keep heating and stirring until the cheese is melted or until it's as warm as you like.

3. Eat with tortilla chips. Oh my gosh. Did you pee from excitement yet? No? You will. Pin It

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Pasta and Creamy White Beans

When you don't eat a lot of meat and are deathly afraid of becoming anemic and/or developing Kwashiorkor, it's important to be creative when trying to incorporate iron and protein into your diet.  That's where beans come in- they're packed with iron, protein, and fiber, and are low in fat and calories. They're also super cheap, thereby making them an excellent choice for people looking to cook Moet & Chandon meals on a Keystone Light budget.

The recipe below calls for a lot of olive oil, which means that 95% of you will be too scared to make this, but before you write this recipe off forever, I beg you to please do a shred of research. As I've mentioned before, extra-virgin olive oil (when consumed in moderation) is good for you and is part of a heart-healthy diet. It contains the lowest saturated fat content and the highest monounsaturated fat of all oils. Olive oil is good for your hair, skin, and nails, and can actually help reduce your risk of heart disease. I'm no dietician, but I'm really good at justifying eating fatty foods!

So anyway, don't be scared to make this recipe! When made with whole wheat pasta, it contains all of your essential amino acids and will help protect you from having a heart attack for one more day.

Ingredients:
2 cans drained cannelinni beans
3/4 cup water
3/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
3 large cloves of garlic, crushed
1 tsp salt
1 box pasta (I always use whole wheat shells)

Method:
1. Bring a pot of salted water to a boil. Make pasta. Once it's fully cooked (not al dente!), drain and do not rinse. 

2. During all of step 1: In a sauce pan, combine olive oil, salt, and garlic. Allow to lightly simmer.

3. Once the olive oil begins to take on a slight garlic flavor, add the drained beans and water.

4. Allow the bean mixture to simmer on medium for a few minutes. You'll know it's simmered enough when the mixture begins to look mucus-y. That's right... I'm not afraid to say when my food resembles phlegm.

4. Once your beans etc. have begun to look really yellow and gross, remove from heat and smash about 90% of them with a fork or a spoon. If you own a spork, go ahead and use that.Your mixture will become creamy. Yum yum delish.

5. Put drained pasta back into its pan and pour bean sauce over it. Stir until evenly coated. Now eat it. It's SO good!


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Friday, July 20, 2012

Pesto Chicken (10 Minute Dinner)

Rachel Ray thinks she's all slick with her thirty minute meals, but I've cooked something up that would turn her face red! Ten minute chicken! Oh yes, my friends... there's a new girl on the block and you can bet your chubby bottom that she doesn't have a raspy voice or swear by a garbage bowl!

I am a huge fan of pesto, as I'm sure you gathered from my recent Pesto Cannelini Bean Soup recipe. As I've branched out beyond my former cucnina comfort zone, I've learned that pesto sauce doesn't just have to be served over a steaming hot bowl of pasta (but if you're going to do this, eat it over tortelinni... Oh my goodness gracious!), but rather it can be used as a main ingredient in so many other recipes.

Pesto chicken is amazing and so easy. Sure, you could go ahead and make it more complicated by whipping up your own batch of the green stuff (I'd probably be really mad at you for upstaging me, but whatevs... we're probably not friends anyway!), but why bother when you can buy a decent jar at your local grocery store. The farmers' market always sells delicious pesto sauce, but it's $7. Since I try to be spendthrift, though, I reserve the expensive stuff for pasta-only dishes and use the cheap stuff when I'm adding other ingredients. So don't feel like a loser buying the cheapest thing on the shelf because I'll be right there with you, having one of those moments when we both reach for the same item at the exact same time.

Ingredients
1 pound chicken
3 tbsp pesto sauce (remember, it's okay to be a cheapskate!)
2 cloves pressed garlic
3 tbsp olive oil
lemon juice to taste, optional

Method:
1. Using kitchen shears, cut chicken into 1"-ish chunks. They should be about 1" x 1".

2. Combine oil, pesto sauce, garlic, and lemon if you choose to use it. I usually omit this unless I'm using the marinade for seafood. This will be more of a rub than a marinade, but if you want to marinade, it will still be good and there won't be any waste. Doesn't it break your heart to dump a half a cup of olive oil down the drain? All. That. Money!

3. If you want to marinate them, go ahead... it will make it taste even more delicious. I usually do this before I go to work. If you don't have time to marinate, no big deal. Proceed to step 4.

4. Toss coated chicken into a frying pan over medium heat. Cook for a few minutes, until the chicken is no longer pink inside.

5. Serve it, bro! We've been eating partially ghetto style, so last night we had this with leftover beans and pierogies. Ha. Honestly, though, this would be awesome with roasted red potatoes or a side of pinata pasta (recipe on this blog). Pin It

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Four Bean n' Veggie Salad

So ya' know those days when you're in dire need of a healthy meal, but have neither the time, nor the desire to cook? That's when you break out your can opener and go nuts as if your local library is having their annual book sale. Oh, you don't like getting once-read books for a quarter? Well excuse me... you must be too rich for my blood!

Anyway, this recipe is super easy and takes about ten minutes to make. Sure, I took the easy way out and chose not to soak beans for eight hours and spend my precious free time plucking corn kernels from off the cob, but it was absolutely delicious anyway! In addition to being delicious, it LOOKS amazing, which is really all that matters, right? Go ahead and sue me for being superficial. Seriously, though, this dish is packed with fiber, protein, and whatever nutrients are found in red peppers. I love it.

Ingredients:
1 can black beans
1 can small white beans (they're actually called that)
1 can yellow corn
1 can cut wax beans
1 can cut green beans
2 red bell peppers, chopped
1 large cucumber, chopped into chunks
1/2 bottle Kraft Lite Parmesan Asiago salad dressing

Method:
1. Drain and rinse all canned goods. Yes, I know it's soooo much work, but ya' gotta do it!

2. In a large bowl, combine rinsed beans and vegetables with fresh chopped cucumber and bell peppers.

3. Mix salad dressing in.

4. Serve either on its own or over a bed of salad. I served it over a bed of lettuce, and found that I wasn't able to scoop it up the way I would have liked to. Next time, I'll just serve as-is.


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Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Curried Lentils (Incredibly Easy!)

As I mentioned in my "Welcome" post, I don't like to prepare dishes that require an arm and a leg's worth of spices. That is why I have become quite a fan of all-in-one seasonings. I tend to stay away from "Italian seasoning", but McCormick's curry powder is actually kind of delicious! I know, I know... a thousand Indians just freaked out right now, but ya' know what... it's good enough for my all-American palate! For those of you from Rhode Island, I offer you the following warning: do not purchase curry powder from Job Lot. I have done this, and while it was a different type of dish (creamy chicken curry), my plate still looked like Benjamin Moore had personally dumped a bucket of dandelion-colored paint over my food and then proceeded to add random spices that made it taste the way I imagine a Japanese/Mexican/Cajun breakfast would.

Another word of warning: Before you make this, make sure you're wearing clothing that you don't mind throwing in the wash immediately after. Also make sure that you don't have anywhere to be right after dinner. In other words... if you plan to leave the house after your meal, be sure to shower and put on fresh clothes.

Ingredients:
1/2 pound of lentils
1 tsp curry powder (the one that comes in the small plastic cylindrical container... no need to break the bank and buy the one in the fancy glass jar)
1/2 boiling onion, diced
1 or 2 cloves of garlic, crushed
3 cups chicken stock (Or you can follow my ghetto lead and use bullion + water)
3 carrots, cut into 1/2" discs


Method:
1. Get a large pot.

2. Combine all ingredients and turn the stove heat to high. Cover and let the stock come to a boil.

3. When the chicken stock comes to a boil, turn the heat to medium. Let simmer until the lentils are soft, about 45 minutes.

4. Serve with rice. To make rice that's equally as ghetto as the chicken stock, cook the rice as directed on the package and add a handful of coconut. Sometimes I add a little bit of sugar, too. The sweetness mixed with the spiciness of the curry is a great combination. I'm sure you could amp up this rice to make it more legit by adding creme of coconut, but I like to do things on the cheap, and I am satisfied with it this way!

Happy eating!! Pin It

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Broccoli Quiche

You've figured out by now that I don't mind sparking up the oven when it's nearly 90 degrees outside. Call me crazy, but eating yogurt for dinner gets really old after a while, and by a while, I mean 30 seconds. First of all yogurt is not satisfying and second, yogurt is not satisfying. This is why I whip out "winter recipes" even when you can see steam rising from the pavement.

I adore quiche. It's easy to prepare, is packed with flavor (as long as you do it right), and is always excellent the next day. If you want to reduce the calories in this recipe, omit the pie crust. I have done this several times, (I suppose it ends up being a sort of fritatta), and it's still amazing.

Ingredients:
1 pie crust
2-3 cloves pressed garlic
1 1/2 cups shredded mozzarella (I use 2%)
4 large or extra-large eggs (use egg substitute if you're cutting calories)
1 1/2 cups milk (I always use skim, and it's a-o-k.)
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
2 cups broccoli (If you're using frozen vegetables, make sure you thaw and DRAIN it, otherwise your pie will be very, very watery)
1/2 cup shredded Parmesan (this isn't necessary to the success of this recipe, but it's so. so. so. good.)

Method:
1. Preheat oven to 350'.

2. In bowl, beat eggs. Mix in salt, pepper, and garlic.

3. Add broccoli and mozzarella cheese.

4. Press pie crust into bottom of pie plate. Pour egg-broccoli mixture into crust. Sprinkle top with Parmesan cheese.

5. Bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour.  Let set for a few minutes before serving.

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Oprah in Training-- My Favorite Things

Let's take a break from cooking and baking to talk about the tools that I like to use to achieve the final product. Some may say that the final product is all that matters, but I beg to differ. How would you feel if I threw a bunch of punch lines at you without telling you the joke?
   -To get to the other side!
   -A newspaper!
   -Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

How did that work out for you? Not so much, right?

So how do I scrape my bowls so as to get every last bit of batter into my muffin cups and onto my cookie sheets? Oxo Good Grips Spatulas , that's how. After ruining several spatulas that have literally curled due to the heat, I switched to silicone. This means that I throw away the freebie utensils that come with stovetop cookware. Silicone is where it's at because they don't melt.



Whipping up a bowl of fresh whipped cream is no easy task when you're using a whisk, which is why I've reserved my manual wire utensil and traded it for a hand mixer. I like the this Cuisinart One, not because of the brand, but because it has a lot of power as well as multiple settings. It also has a ton of attachments, which makes mixing dough a breeze. It also comes with an awesome storage case that allows you to keep all of your attachments organized. Don't let the price scare you away- If you're serious about cooking and baking, you're going to need a mixer than stands the test of time.



While I might not own the best knife set on the market, my Farberware set has treated me well thus far. I've used some pretty questionable sets in my day, and I must say that for the price, it's really not bad. It comes with a knife sharpener, which I'm still afraid to use (I actually thought it was a poker when I first got it... ohhh boy), and a pair of scissors that's great for cutting chicken into bite-sized cubes. The santokus work well and I've been able to comfortably chop vegetables without feeling as though my life is in danger. Seriously, for 40-ish bucks, how can you go wrong?



When it comes to baked goods, presentation is half the battle, which is why it's important to have a decent set of decorating tools, including a piping bag and some standard tips. I have a large set of tips that my grandmother got a deal on at a yard sale, and they have really helped to turn spoon-decorated cupcakes into little works of art. I have also used my decorating tips to make eclairs, cannnoli filling, and even potatoes. Potatoes? Yes, you can pipe mashed potatoes back into their skins to make an amazing looking twice-baked spud. This Wilton decorating kit is a great starting point for anyone who wants to spiff up their baked goods. I learned to decorate pastries between the ages of fourteen and sixteen- it wasn't hard to learn, and I have a feeling that you'll be able to pick it up quite easily, too!



This is the absolute best garlic press I have ever owned. For real... it is heavy, durable, and orgonomic. The best part is that it was cheap! I'm sure you could find an awesome garlic press at Williams Sonoma, but it will probably cost upward of $30. Who wants to spend that much on a garlic press when they can become a pampered chef (haha!) for half the price? This little gadget gets more action in my kitchen than anything else in my home. I just love it.

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Monday, July 16, 2012

100% Whole Wheat Banana-Oat Muffins

What can I say about these muffins other than the fact that they are simply aaa-maaaa-zing! I enjoy taking recipes that are tasty as written, but super unhealthy, and amping them up with nutrition and seriously bumping down the fat content. And not to come across as holy terror, but I'm pretty good at it, if I do say so myself.

So let's chat about bananas. I recently had a horrible experience with them, as I accidentally chomped down on what I believe to be a mass of spider eggs, which had hidden themselves in the bottom tip! Apparently, spiders lay their eggs in the tips of bananas and although they are sprayed before shipped to a grocery store near you, some can survive the chemical showdown. Anyway, the eggs caused my lips, tongue, and face to go numb, and also caused my right hand to twitch maniacally. Wanna talk about scary? I was so freaked out that I went to the emergency room, which probably made things worse, especially when I found out that the person next to me was infected with the black plague. No, she didn't really have the plague, but strep throat is equally as scary.

As someone who loves bananas, I wasn't sure how to deal with this experience. Then it hit me... don't eat the tips! So now when I eat bananas, I discard the first and last 1/2" of the fruit. Perfect- no problems since. I hope the fear of consuming spider eggs has not scared you away from eating bananas because then you'd be screwed out of the chance to make the following recipe. I made them yesterday and am happy to report a fully-functioning set of nerves in the craniofacial region.

Ingredients:
1 1/3 cup whole wheat flour
1 1/4 cup (a little less) old fashioned oats
3 very ripe bananas, mashed to smithereens (discard the tips!)
2 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp vanilla extract
4 tbsp unsweetened applesauce
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/8 tsp salt (I know it sounds like a trivial amount, but salt is a very important ingredient because it draws out the flavor)
1 egg
1/3 cup mini chocolate chips (Make sure they're mini. If you use the regular-sized ones, they'll sink to the bottom, and you'll lose all credibility as a baker!)

Method:
1. Preheat oven to 350'. Grease or line muffin tins.

2. On a large plate, mash the bananas with a fork until they resemble baby food.

3. In  large bowl, combine egg, brown sugar, vanilla, and applesauce. Once all ingredients are incorporated, stir in the banana.

4. To the bowl, add salt, baking powder, and baking soda. Mix.

5. Slowly add flour. Once the flour has been added, mix in the oats.

6. Add in the mini chocolate chips.

7. Fill each muffin cup with 1/4 cup batter. I filled 17.

8. Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until toothpick comes out clean. Mine baked for 15 minutes and were perfect.

Enjoy them... they're wonderfully delicious and actually pretty darn good for you! Pin It

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Pesto and Cannelini Bean Soup

It's July and in the 90's on a daily basis, and for some reason, you've given up eating soup for the season. I'll bet you're the same person who still wears all black to a funeral and refuses to wear white after labor day. Am I right? I say it's time to break all the nonsense rules you've been foolishly living by, starting with the no-soup-in-the-summer one and whip up a quick batch of this soup. It's simple, delicious, and although it contains olive oil (dreaded fat!), it's of the monounsaturated variety and actually has health benefits when consumed in moderation.

Eww... the dreaded M-word. Let's talk about that for a second. Chocolate (chip cookies, brownies, cupcakes, frosting...), nuts, peanut butter... when it comes to thighs, apparently, there is a lot of truth in the phrase, "too much of a good thing".

The method for this recipe is not very detailed, but I expect that most of you have made soup before. It's kind of a "combine and eat" recipe, although I will warn you, don't add the beans until later, as indicated. When cooked beans boil, they break apart and lose their texture.

Ingredients:
5 cloves garlic
2 cans cannellini beans (I adore these versatile little suckers and always have a stock of them in the cabinets)
1 cup water
3 tbsp pesto (there IS a difference between good pesto and cheap pesto, but for this, Classico is just fine)
3 cups chicken or veggie stock (or you can be wicked cheap like me and use... gasp... bouillon cubes!)
1 cup chopped celery
1 red pepper, chopped
Grated Parmesan cheese (a crucial part of this recipe)

Method:
1. Combine water, stock, celery, red pepper, garlic, and pesto and bring to a boil.

2. Drain and rinse the cannelini beans. The best way to do this is to suck it up and dirty your colander.

3. When the celery has begun to soften a bit (you don't want this mushy, but you also don't want it to have a snap to it), turn the heat down to medium and add the beans. Allow to cook for a few more minutes.

4. Ladle into bowls and let cool for a few minutes. Sprinkle a tablespoon of Parmesan cheese in each bowl. If you don't allow the soup to cool for a bit, the cheese (even grated) will melt and end up as a hardened mass on the tip of your spoon... and you won't be able to taste it.

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Friday, July 13, 2012

Cucumber Water

You're probably wondering why I'm wasting precious blog space for something as simple as cucumber water, right? The answer is quite simple: because I'm sweet and want everyone to be as refreshed as I am!


Ingredients:
6 thin cucumber slices
16 oz. cold water
(1 serving)

Method:
1. WASH your cucumber. There is nothing refreshing about sipping on a pesticide-enhanced beverage.

2. Cut cucumber into several thin-ish slices.

3. Add 6 slices to water. Top with ice.

4. Sip and be refreshed!

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Pinata Pasta (Get Your Mexi On.. Kinda Sorta?!)

What in God's name is Pinata Pasta? Well first, I boil up a box of pasta, then just before it's al dente, I rip up a few colorful sheets of tissue paper and stir it into the water. This causes the paper to appear the way wilted spinach does. I then drain the water, add a bunch of other crap to the pasta-tissue mixture and devour like no other. You don't believe me? Good. I didn't think anyone was thaaat much of an ignoramus.

Pinata Pasta is basically like any ordinary pasta salad that you've had, but I think it's important to remind y'all that sometimes it's okay to revert back to old recipes. Plus, this is so colorful that during consumption, you'll feel as though you're riding a unicorn through a rainbow, which is not something I ever felt while eating traditional pasta salad. Seriously though, bring it your next summer cookout and you'll be a superstar... at least in my eyes.

Ingredients:
1 box of whole wheat pasta (I'm usually a shell girl, but I used these fantastic ribbed elbows that were absolutely perfect)
1 bottle of  salad dressing- I used Kraft fat free Parmesan Asiago (I know there are chemicals in this, but my thighs are at stake here, which means anything goes!)
1 red bell pepper, chopped
1 orange bell pepper, chopped
1 6-ounce bag baby spinach
1 large cucumber (not those weird ones that come wrapped in plastic)
2 cans black beans
Salt and Pepper to taste

Method (It doesn't get much easier than this):
1. Bring a pot of salted water to a boil. Make pasta.


2. While the pasta is cooking, chop all vegetables, including spinach. To chop spinach, bunch it up and run a knife through it. You'll end up with skinny shreds. Skinny-- that's the theme du jour.

3. Once the pasta is cooked, drain it. I don't normally rinse my pasta, but I always do when making pasta salad. So rinse with cool water until the pasta is no longer hot.

4. Transfer to a large bowl and mix all the vegetables in. Pour salad dressing over and stir until you feel that you've gotten a fierce enough workout to qualify as an arm wresting champion. If you're going to eat this right away, it shouldn't need any salt, but it will probably require a dash or three the next day. Pin It

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Risotto-Style Barley and Sauz-eege

For years now, I’ve been wanting to make risotto, but a) I don’t have the patience to stand over a fire like a chest-banging cavewoman so that I can constantly stir a pot of rice until it eventually takes on a creamy texture and b) I prefer whole grains over anything that Uncle Ben may or may not have promoted in an orange box. Don’t get me wrong, I adore white rice, but due to the excess poundage that has recently taken up residence on my body, I need to reduce the white and increase the tan. This is why I love, love, love barley-  because it can act as a chubby stand-in for rice, and more importantly, it’s a whole grain that’s packed with fiber. This is how I came to make “Frisotto”.

The first time I made this recipe, it was over 90 degrees outside, and let me tell you- I was miserable standing over that open flame, but after it was finally time to wipe the sweat mustache from off my face and serve the meal, I gave a deep sigh of relief and soaked up all the yumminess! This is definitely more of a cool-weather meal, but I’m a loon and tend to think that every day is an appropriate day to spark up a heat-emitting appliance, just like the way I feel that ballet flats with legit soft leather soles are appropriate footwear to sport during a weather channel-worthy snow storm. You may think I’m kidding, but I can assure you on every level that this is entirely true and the reason that my left second toe was numb for the majority of the winter season.  

The next time I make this, I will use my crock pot, which has been a Godsend.

So anyway, crank of your AC, strip down to your skivvies, and make this dish tonight. It’s definitely worth it.


Ingredients:
¾ pound chicken sausage (or you can try ground turkey and add more seasonings such as 2 cloves garlic, salt, pepper, basil)
1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes in juice
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 small boiling onion, finely chopped
1 cup barley
1/2 cup dry white wine (I used the absolute cheapest bottle I could find)
5 cups water
1 red bell pepper
1 tsp fennel seeds
1 bag baby spinach (usually comes in 6-ounce bags)
Parmesan Cheese
Salt and pepper to taste

Method:
1. Remove casings from sausage.

2. In a large stock pot, combine the sausage, onions, red pepper, olive oil, fennel seeds and garlic. With a wooden spoon, break up the sausage. Allow the sausage to cook and the onions, garlic, and red pepper get soft.

3. After a few minutes, add white wine.  A few minutes later, add the barley, undrained tomatoes (yup... just dump the whole can in), and water.

4. Allow to simmer for about 45 minutes.  Add spinach, stir in, and cover. Allow the spinach to wilt for a few minutes. Add salt and pepper to taste.

5. Just before serving, sprinkle Parmesan cheese over the top. As usual, shredded is best, but grated will work just fine!
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Wednesday, July 11, 2012

100% Whole Wheat Pumpkin Banana Muffins

I am in love with these muffins! They are moist and have a lovely pumpkin flavor. Pumpkin is one of those things that I could eat every day, regardless of how many strange looks I get when loading my cart up with Libby's in July. That's right I said it... Libby's. While I'm sure fresh pumpkin is a zillion times better than the canned stuff, I'm not denying myself of the orange sphere of wonder when the only thing currently in season is sunscreen. I'll admit that even in the autumn, though, I cheat and jump aboard the aluminum express. It's just too labor intensive to cook and scoop a pumpkin for a dozen muffins. Who knows... maybe if I get enough angry hippie comments, I'll buy a pumpkin this coming October and become a believer.


Anyway, I've been making these muffins for a while now and do not see myself stopping anytime in the near future. Although, I might recruit my awesome boooyfran to whip up a second batch tonight... maybe? We've got a bunch of severely speckled bananas that need to be used or tossed ASAP (Not Ay-Sap... AY, ES, AY, PEE).


So the recipe below looks like it has a lot of ingredients, but hold onto your hat because it's not that bad! It should all be stuff that you have in your cabinets, so please... don't worry.


Sorry this picture is kind of blurry! It was taken with my cell phone, which despite its brick-like appearance, actually has a camera in it. This is what .5 mp looks like.

Ingredients:
2 cups whole wheat flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 tsp pumpkin pie spice (Rhode Islanders- it's okay to get this at Job Lot)
2/3 cup light brown sugar
1/3 cup white sugar
1/4 cup canola oil
1/2 cup very ripe banana, mashed
1/2 cup pumpkin
1/3 cup buttermilk (I usually use 1 tsp vinegar + enough milk to equal 1/3 cup)
2 eggs
1/2 cup raisins (I usually let these soak in water for about half an hour before adding to my batter
Old fashioned oats
Sugar

Method:
1. Preheat oven to 400'.

2. Grease or line 12 muffin tins.

3. Combine wet ingredients in one bowl. Slowly incorporate the dry ingredients. You know what I mean.
*** Read if you're making your own buttermilk: Measure 1 tsp vinegar. Pour it into the measuring cup that you'll use to portion out your milk. Add enough milk to reach 1/3 cup. Let sit for 5 minutes before using.

4. Add raisins to batter.

5. Pour batter into muffins cups and sprinkle with sugar and oats.

6. Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until toothpick comes out clean.

I usually let these sit in their tins for 5 minutes before transferring to a container with a tightly fitting lid. I know this probably promotes mold growth, but I've never had a problem. This helps lock in the moisture, which is important when you're working with whole wheat flour.
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Monday, July 9, 2012

Parmesan Chicken

Have I got it backwards? Did I mean to write "Chicken Parmesan"? Heck no... this was a strategic move, as there is something commonly associated with the term "Chicken Parmesan" that alludes to a dish that is more elaborate than Parmesan Chicken. Let me tell you about a my gripe with Chicken Parmesan. Most people do not know how to make it correctly. It's called chicken PARMESAN for a reason... because there is some sort of non-mozzarella component in there, right? Right.

Well this is how most people make it, and if you fall under this category, no worries. Just know that help is on the way and you'll soon have all the tools necessary to make a bitchin' dinner that involves more explosions than the Fourth of July. Only these little pyrotechnic treats will occur on your taste buds rather than in a sky that sprinkles bird urine from time to time.

This is probably how YOU make CP: Coat chicken with bread crumbs. Cover with sauce. Bake. Put cheese on it 3 minutes before it comes out of the oven. This isn't a bad start, but lemme tell you, something even better is knocking on your door.

Ingredients:
1 pound of chicken breast (I like to pound it down to make scallopini, but whether you like your breasts big or little is your deal, not mine!)
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese (shredded is best, but grated is okay)
1/2 cup breadcrumbs
1 egg
2 or 3 tablespoons water
1/4 cup white flour
salt, pepper, and dried basil to taste

Method:
1. Heat oven to 350'.

2. Get three shallow dishes. Put egg and water in one and whisk away until the skin on your arm begins to waddle. Put flour, salt, pepper, and basil in the second dish. In the remaining dish, combine the cheese and breadcrumbs. Add salt, pepper, and basil to this bowl if desired.

3. Dredge chicken in flour. Simply stated, this means that you should coat both sides of your chicken in the flour mixture.

4. Dip flour-coated chicken in egg mixture. Be sure to completely cover both sides.

5. Now coat chicken with the cheese-breadcrumb mixture.

6. Place in baking dish and bake for 20 minutes. ****

**** If you want to proceed to ruin this dish, ahem, I mean turn this into traditional chicken parm, proceed the following way:

1. Before placing chicken in baking dish, spread a thin layer of sauce on the bottom.

2. Put chicken in dish.

3. Cover chicken with sauce. Jarred or homemade. I don't judge.

4. Bake for 17 minutes. Take out of the oven and melt about a 1/2 cup of mozzarella cheese over the breasts. Slide back into oven and bake for three more minutes, which is all it should take for cheese to melt.

Enjoy!

If you have the time, brine the chicken breast in lightly salted water before attempting to make this dish. This is something you can do the hour before. It is NOT necessary for the success of this chicken, though.

I like to serve this chicken with roasted green beans and red potatoes. Pin It

Cake Balls or Mini Nightmares?

Cake balls. What can I say about them other than the fact that when you look at the recipe, all you can think is, "I got this!"? The truth is, they require very few ingredients and in theory are very easy to make, but usually end up taking more time than they're really worth.

Given the level of effort associated with this dessert, I propose to change the name to Cake Truffles.

Here's the recipe that seems to catch many peoples' eyes and lead them to believe that they can whip up a cute dessert in less than an hour and look like a rockstar at their next office party.

Ingredients:
1 can frosting
1 box of cake mix
1 bag of chocolate chips (I use Ghiradelli for everything)

Method:
1. Bake cake as directed on box.

2. When cake comes out of the oven, let cool for a few minutes. Proceed to crumbling to dust.

3. Mix entire can of frosting into crumbs.

4. Roll into balls.

5. Melt chocolate over double broiler. Let's get real here... most of us will probably do this in the microwave and forget that chocolate burns easily. It'll probably sit in the micro for two minutes on high before the kitchen begins filling up with smoke and the fire alarm starts going off. The family dog will start barking and the baker will run into the kitchen repeatedly muttering, "OH sh*t!' under her breath. I don't judge. This happened to me once. I was five.

6. Coat the balls in chocolate and decorate as desired. If you want to decorate with sprinkles or anything comparable, do this while the dang schweddy balls are still wet, otherwise you'll have a mess and will be stammering the SH word once again.

Okay, so this sounds easy enough, right? WRONG! Do you know long the process of actually rolling out seriously like... 100 balls takes? I usually do 15 before I give up. So after I've rolled 15 balls, I realize that I still have to coat them in chocolate. I usually do one before realizing that I'm tired and this process sucks royally. I then proceed to spooning the melted chocolate over the top, which looks just fine and usually earns me a few compliments at what ever function I serve them at.

MY ADVICE TO YOU:
Do not make these. You can clearly taste that the frosting is from a can, and the time you put into it is just not worth it. Oh, so you're ambitious and want to make your own frosting, huh? Please leave my blog and never come back. For real... it is not worth it. If you want something chocolate-y and special to bring to a casual party, make brownies (recipe to come soon) instead. Your time is better spent trimming the grass blade-by-blade with a pair of safety scissors. Pin It

Wicked Easy and Super Delicious Frosting

Step 1. Go to grocery store.

Step 2. Buy can of frosting that is on sale.

JOKING!

So if you're anything like me, your favorite part of a cupcake, or any cake for that matter, is the frosting. I make some UH-MAY-ZING chocolate frosting, but it's not very helpful when you want to serve up pink, blue, or green cupcakes. I've tried many butter cream recipes, and some of them have been pretty good and one has made its way into my recipe box, but they all seem to lack that little something. Yes, even the 5-star recipes on allrecipes.com and the Food Network website just don't make the cut.

The frosting I'm about to introduce to you is slightly sweet and is oh so creamy! Every time I have iced a cake with this, I have been SHOWERED (well maybe not showwwered) with compliments because seriously... it's the best! It pipes really, really nicely out of a bag and holds onto sprinkles and other candy pieces impressively well.

So, I have developed an extremely simple recipe that will replace all other frostings! Ready?

Ingredients:
1 package instant vanilla pudding (not sugar-free... unless your taste buds are completely shot?)
2 cups heavy whipping cream

Method:
1. Pour heavy whipping cream into a cold bowl. I like to pop my bowl in the freezer for a few minutes before making whipped cream.

2. Empty pudding packet into bowl.

3. Get out your hand mixer and mix like hell until you get a nice rich creamy frosting.

4. If desired, add a few drops of food coloring to make this extra special!

Notes:
* I almost always use vanilla pudding, but I'm sure you could play around with different flavors. As you know, I am a huge fan of pistachio, so maybe I'll try that next!

* Make this recipe with chocolate pudding for a quick variation on chocolate mousse. Like the vanilla version, this is slightly sweet and doesn't leave you feeling weighed down. Pin It

No-Bake Strawberry Cake Pie

So the other day while I was avoiding doing my library homework (Oh you didn't know? I'm 25 and working towards my Master's in Library Science) I decided that I just needed to make yet another dessert, but being that my apartment was an brisk 88 degrees, I determined that turning on the oven was seriously not an option. That's when it hit me to make an icebox cake. For those of you who have yet to hit the ripe old age of 25, an icebox is an old school refrigerator. Think "I Love Lucy". Oh wait... you don't know what that is, either. Darn. It.

So anyway, I found a recipe online for an icebox pie, but because I think that I can bake and cook better than everyone else, I decided to alter the square-shaped slop that I stumbled upon via Google.

I made this 36 hours in advance, and it was perfect. I wouldn't recommend making it fewer than 12 hours before serving, as the graham crackers may not have adequate time to absorb the moisture from the whipped cream. Basically, you want the graham crackers to soak up all the yumminess and take on a cakey texture.

Make sure you read the method before you go nuts with assembling the ingredients in a fashion that you feel appropriate!

Ingredients:
2 Cups Heavy Whipping Cream
2 Sleeves graham crackers
2 lbs sliced strawberries
1 tsp lemon extract
1/4ish powdered sugar
2ish ounces of semi-sweet chocolate chips

Method:
1. In a 9 x 9 baking dish, arrange graham crackers so that they completely cover the bottom of the dish without much overlap. I used a deep dish pie plate, which worked just fine, but was kind of a beeyotch because it was round and the crackers are not. I also used honey grahams, but I will probably try chocolate next time. I am actually really excited about trying this!

2. Make whipped cream. Pour all of the whipping cream (less about 2 tbsp) into a cold bowl. Add lemon extract. Go to town with your hand mixer (or stand mixer- for those of who recently got married and got one as a wedding gift!) and beat until you have formed stiff peaks. Slowly add the powdered sugar, tasting before adding more.

3. Spread a layer of whipped cream over the graham crackers.

4. Arrange a layer of strawberries over the whipped cream.

5. Create another layer pattern of graham crackers, whipped cream, and strawberries until you run out. Your last layer should be strawberries.

6. Make ganache! Combine the leftover heavy whipping cream and the chocolate chips and slowly melt over the stove. Once the chocolate has completely melted and there are no cocoa chunks, drizzle over the top of the pie.

7. Chill until ready to serve.



I'm so glad that I decided to clean my stove before snapping these pics!


Go ahead.... spend the $7.50 necessary to complete this glorious concoction. I won't lie to you and tell you that this bomb is part of a heart-healthy diet, but I can assure you that it's actually refreshing and not nearly as dense as some of the other crapola that you'll come across when searching for new recipes on the dub.dub.dub. 

Enjoy and check back later to see what I've cooked up for dinner tonight! Pin It

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Pistachio Coconut Pie

I love pistachio pudding and I owe this to my grandmother, who makes an amazing pistachio nut cake. Seriously, I'd eat pistachio stuff everyday, but I've been told that I need to eat a balanced diet, and I assume that horse cartilage (or whatever is in Jell-o) isn't on the food pyramid. Every now and then, though, I like to add a little bit of nuttiness to my repertoire.

So last night, I decided that I would make a pistachio pie for a cookout that my uncle is having. It's freaking hot here on the East Coast, and is therefore, too hot to bake... and wanting to steer clear of the traditional graham cracker crust (I wanted everyone to know that I had slaved away in the kitchen), I searched high and low for a bangin' crust that would leave everyone's jaw on the floor after consuming the dish.

So I bring to you... the Sort of No-Bake Pistachio Coconut Pie.

Ingredients:
2 packages of instant pistachio pudding (If you get sugar-free, I might cry. For real.)
2 cups 2% milk (I am anti-dairy milk [especially if it is not fat-free] for almost everything, but for this, you must go with 2%, otherwise it won't quite thicken the way it needs to)
1 container whipped topping
1/3 cup unsalted butter
2 1/2 cups coconut

Method:
1. Set oven to 350'. Arrange coconut evenly in a 9 x 13 cake pan and put in oven once it has finished preheating. "Stir" the coconut every few minutes, about three times, or until the coconut is lightly browned and toasted. Remove from oven and set aside about a teaspoon of the coconut.

2. Melt butter.

3. Add toasted coconut to melted butter and stir until evenly coated. Press into a regular pie plate. It looks like a lot, but if you press all the way up the sides, you shouldn't have any problems with overflow.

4. Put pie shell in freezer for a few minutes.

5. Mix milk and both packages of pudding together with a hand mixer (I use this Kitchenaid Mixer). Let set for about 2 minutes. Measure 1 1/2 cups of the pudding and spread into the pie shell.

6. Fold whipped topping into remaining pudding. Once fully incorporated, spread over the pudding-filled pie shell.

7. Sprinkle with toasted coconut, if desired.

8. Chill until ready to serve.



Marvelous. I love this pie and so did everyone at the cookout!
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Welcome!

I tried starting a blog last summer, but it didn't work out too well. Why? Because quite simply, I completely forgot about it! I'm hoping Round II will be more successful.

So here's the deal. I like to cook and bake. I'm no expert, but I seem to have good success and am pretty good at making cheap meals that don't require crazy ingredients. I mean seriously... who wants to make a dish that costs $60 worth of spices and herbs? I'd like to, don't get me wrong... but this girl is too cheap to part with the cash!

What are some of my favorite things to make? Well, I make a bitchin' batch of brownies that will leave you feeling like you're going to H-E- double hockey sticks for consuming something so... decadent. I also made this "frisotto" dish a couple of weeks ago that was amazing. What's frisotto? Glad you asked... It's FAKE risotto (I used barley instead of rice). What can I tell you about my chocolate chip cookies? Not much... other than the fact that they're AMAZING and are worth every around-the-belly pound that I've recently put on as a result of consuming so many.

Basically, I like to experiment with different things and share my triumphs with others. In the past, I've been very hesitant about sharing my recipes with others because I'm pretty selfish, but I've learned that if I don't share my ingredient cards, then I may be stuck at a dinner party eating some sort of seasoned cow dung. See what I mean? Sharing is not spending the evening puking up some hostess' main course.

Here I'll share some recipes with whoever happens to type in random search terms into Google... or Bing, I guess... I don't judge! Follow meeee and see where your spatula can take you! Pin It